Thursday, August 30, 2007


NAME : Snoopy, the dog (not the famous one in Peanuts, but another simple dog).
Age: 7yrs, 8 months, 20 days, 5 hrs, 20 minutes, 4 seconds (preciseness is my life-long motto)
Breed: undetectable (it seems that I am a cross between a beagle, retriever, Alsatian and a Doberman, my parents being cross-breeds themselves. )
Subject: Few insights into my life as a dog.

August 20th, 2007
Last night my master’s bike got stolen. The mistress lays the blame on me knowing fully well that my indignant protestations don’t make sense to anybody. My master, never one to argue with the mistress, has agreed upon this. He remarks that when I seem to bark all day long at anything and everything that comes into my plane of vision, why didn’t even a whimper escape from my mouth at the time of the theft. This remark I feel is a distortion of truth. I don’t bark all day long. I only bark at any cat that ever existed, the milkman, the newspaper boy, the post-man, laundry man, the servant, any person who looks at me, any bird that sits on the fence and the occasional plant that rustles due to the breeze. That doesn’t constitute anything and everything! There are lots of things I don’t bark at like………………well I cant think of anything offhand, but I am certain there are things that I don’t bark at. Returning to the present: how was I supposed to know that a theft would occur at the exact moment that I would shut my eyes from guard duty? Clearly being a dog is a 24/7 job.
August 31st, 2007
Today was quite a puzzling day for me. My mistress’s mother’s cousin’s husband’s sister’s daughter and her 5 month old son came to our house today. ( ‘ Blood is thicker than water’ is our family slogan.) Meena (the visitor) seemed to have come to invite our family to the wedding of her distant cousin’s aunt’s distant niece who was somehow related to my mistress in some distant way. After the initial pleasantries, Meena came towards me carrying her baby. Always eager to keep everybody happy, I smiled at them, putting into it all the warmth that I could muster. But the baby just took one look at me and instead of the expected chuckling and smiling that I feel makes them look quite comic, it burst into tears, bawling volubly. Even the mother had the look of one who had cut an especially fleshy and healthy looking fruit to find it rotten inside. After that, the mother only shot side glances at me, never looking at me directly. For the life of me, I cannot understand what went wrong.
September 8th ,2007
My guardian angel seems to have taken an ill-timed vacation, for the vet came to visit me today. I must admit that I have emerged out of this incident without a shred of dignity left. All I wish for right now is for a blanket which can keep me hidden till eternity.
I had decided before the vet’s arrival that I will fight unto death but I will not allow him to stick a needle into me. Strengthened by this new resolve, I, upon his arrival, barked and snarled at him with utmost vigor, with the most menacing expression on my face. But while all this might have made any layman scurry the way a man scurries when his wife is in full swing, my vet did not even raise his eyes to look at me. He just raised his voice a little and told my master, “I will finish this work as fast as possible. Your dog sounds frightened as it is.” This remark shocked me so much as to shut me up for 10 whole seconds. It took me some time to retaliate with a bark, but that bark seemed weak even to my own self. The vet had just taken the sting out of my attack. After that I was simply reduced to a few lame barks now and then. But the mistress remarked, “Poor Snoopy! Look at him whining.” After that I decided to just shut my mouth.
The vet finished his preparations and came towards me. I stared at him, resigned to my fate. “ cute puppy, sit still and please do not be naughty,” he crooned. I think the words ’ just sit still’ were the ones which really made me snap. Was I supposed to sit still while he embarrassed me in front of my family? What about my resolution to fight unto death? Thus, with ill-timed fervor, I abruptly rose from my sitting position and the needle which had been held just above, slipped out of the vet’s hand and etched a neat scratch on my rear portion. The deadliest nark that I had been planning turned into a most heart-rending yowl. From now on, my solemn advice to every being is to learn the lesson of good timing.
The vet, to my added indignantion remarked, “ It’s just a small scratch. It will heal soon enough. I will give him the injection anyway.” This time I did not move a muscle while he injected me and then I retreated into the darkest corner of the house.
My rear end has never felt so painful. I incite agonizing nerve signals from my brain and an amused laugh from my master every single time I try to sit and let out a whimper. My master says sadistically with the widest smile on his face,” This is the best lesson for you.” So much for ideal of sharing the joys as well as the sorrows of life. I am sure the trauma of this is going to last for ever long.
-the hobbit


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